Tag Archives: resiliency

It is extremely frustrating right now. Both the opposition and those who are scared because of their ignorance on these issues are constantly attacking us. Even from within the LGBTQ community, we hear people attacking each other. Many of these internal attacks come from the colonized thinking that power is limited and thus we must fight those who are not *exactly* like us in order to keep our power. These fractions see transness and expansive gender expression as a personal attack to their acceptance into the heteronormative structures, or as attacks on their fight to make visible communities within our own community. The attacks from the opposition are easy to understand, because they are based on one of two things: ignorance regarding our identities or pure evil because of their own maligned hearts. The attacks from within our own communities are more hurtful because, regardless of how these small fraction see us, we still recognize them as our own.

I have read “jokes” posted by friends or colleagues, who think that they are so “enlightened” that they can’t see how they are still playing the role of high school bully. I have heard comments from beloved friends and family members who are completely ignorant regarding these issues, and can’t understand why their comments hurt and how they affect our lives as LGBTQ people. Because of my work, I have read proposals to systemically erase our own existence at every level of society. What I want to say is, yes, I know this is a horrible time for all of us and our allies.

Here’s the thing I want you to remember, though. This is not the first time — in history, in this country, in our countries of origin, etc.– where people have tried to erase us from society. Yet, HERE WE ARE! Bruised. Beaten. Tired. Crying. Hurt. BUT HERE WE ARE. They have tried to erase us so many times and yet, they can’t!

You know why they can’t erase us? Because our identity is inherent to who we are. Life itself has given us the power to BE! No one, anywhere, anytime, will be able to erase US. Our ancestors and transcestors still live through us too! They also experienced this pain and hurt and disempowerment. And yet, here we are.

I am 44 years old, and I am as queer and as gay today as I was when I was 2, or 6, or 11, or 15, or 24, or 36… LGBTQ adults were all LGBTQ children, and no prayer, no “therapy”, no witchcraft, no law, no regulation, no DeSatan, no Catechism, no former drag-queen turned Governor in TN, will change that!

Remember a few things. First, we’ve got each other. Remember that you are not alone. If you need to reach out to someone for support, do it. Second, we are legion! Yes, we are! Not because “more people are becoming LGBTQ”, but because more and more LGBTQ folk find strength in safe communities to come out at any stage of their lives. Third, you are not single handedly responsible for the preservation of our rights! Nope… each person plays a role. Maybe yours is to be at the forefront of the marches, or at the Legislature, or at the grassroots health cooperative, etc. But maybe your role is just to BE YOU; be you with friends and colleagues, be you with family and strangers, be you at work and at temple… We all do our part and nobody should ever have the need to compare themselves to others. Fourth, rest if you need to! I cannot underline this enough. REST. RESTORE. REFRESH. RECHARGE. Whatever you are doing for and with the community, make sure to center your own safety and needs. We need your beautiful self here with us in whichever capacity you can be here.

Finally, remember this: the LGBTQ experience is also JOY, CELEBRATION, EMPOWERMENT, AFFIRMATION, LOVE, ACCEPTANCE… It is also a remembrance that our ancestors and our transcestors are dancing with and for us as we march towards full liberation for ALL of our people!

¡Les quiero, mi gente! I love you my peeps! We keep moving forward no matter what!